Essential Parenting Reads (or Listens) from Momma Cusses

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I am not typically a fan of traditional parenting...anything. Standard mom groups end up full of sanctimommies who are faking it just like the rest of us, and I leave. Typical parenting techniques have never sat well with me, no two kids are the same, the bastards. So why the hell would one parenting method work for all of them?

And the standard run of parenting books ends up pointless and uninteresting because, again, no two kids are the same. What worked for your brood may or may not work with mine. I typically do not have enough time to wade through one level of bullshit to get to the good bits that can apply to my nether-spawn.

Thus, when I find a book or audiobook on parenting that doesn't suck, I must share it. So I'm gonna.

Heads up: Some of these are affiliate links, which means I may receive a small income if you purchase using the link provided. My caffeine habit thanks you for your support.

Disclaimer to the disclaimer, though. I do love these books. I've read them. No one paid me to actually endorse them. It is my unaltered, real reading list for mouthy mommas.

First on our list: Bare Minimum Parenting by James Breakwell

"Don't be the reason for your kids' therapy." Overachieving parents, you know the ones who tote their kid to seventeen activities, pack daily bento boxes, and have a custom shirt printed to publicly proclaim they really like their kids...yeah, they don't have an edge. Bare Minimum Parenting explores how to love, support, prepare, and encourage your spawn to move the fuck out and be successful adults without you. It's a must-read.

Next up: Swearing is Good for You by Emma Byrne

We've all seen the clickbait headlines "The smartest people in the world curse," and we've clicked on it because, yeah, we cuss. A lot. But why do we swear? Because sometimes nothing gets the point across quite as well as an expletive. Swearing is Good for You looks at just why swearing works and why a 'FUCK' works a little better than 'FIDDLESTICKS!' (Audio version is highly recommended because her accent is just so goddamn soothing.)

Now we move to Becoming by Michelle Obama

Seriously, is this chick going to be on every book list ever? Probably. But what I love about this book is A) there isn't as much politics as you think and B) it really cuts deeps when it comes to parenting. The amount of care and consideration she put into her kids' well-being and her role as a mother on top of everything else is, well, fucking inspirational. (Audiobook definitely recommended because Michelle reads it herself. Also, check out the Netflix special associated with this title.)

Who the hell has to follow that? Toddlers are A**holes by Bunmi Laditan

Generally speaking, toddlers are, in fact, assholes. They are like drunk miniature circus performers with death wishes. Most of a parent's job is literally just keeping them alive, never mind the whole 'turning them into decent humans' schtick. Some days you have to remind yourself of that. Bunmi does an excellent job helping you remember that kids are, in fact, children. Sometimes they suck, and that's not necessarily your fault.

And last but not least, How to Raise a Smart Ass by Lucia Walinchus

I mean, most of us are already doing that by nature of who we are, but might as well lean into it and make it feel like this shit is on purpose. Lucia's book is less a How-To Guide and more a memoir on her style of parenting. There's some insight into life as a mouthy mom between those cover anyway. Actually, quite a lot of it.