A Mom's Bill of Rights

Photo by Robert Anasch on Unsplash

We all have mom-guilt. Or at least you do or you wouldn't be here. Tell me I'm wrong. Mom-Guilt is this constant pervasive fear that we are not enough or are somehow failing our children. Which is total and utter bull-shit.

For more on mom guilt, catch The Momma Cusses Podcast.

But we do have rights as humans with spawn. There are some basic elements of adult life we need not feel guilty about. I present to you The Mom's Bill of Rights. (And hopefully a dose of my totally-not-patented Guilt-Be-Gone.)

You have a right to basic bodily function.

You are allowed to pee without guilt. You can even pee alone. While the kids are in the house. Just shut the door. Whining is not going to kill them. You can drink your own water from your own cup without always having to share.

You have a right to sleep.

Guilt yourself sick over naps no more. Humans need approximately 7-10 hours of sleep a night. That's all in one go. Moms celebrate half that. And sometimes its because our children needed us. But if you need to take a nap because they needed you at 2 am but not 2 pm. Take that nap, queen.

You have a right to feel & look human.

Ever feel guilty about a basic soap, scrub, rinse shower? Yeah. Me too. But as moms, we have a right to not smell. We have a right to basic hygiene. A shower or anything we do to take care of our bodies, our skin, our teeth, our hair is not a version of child neglect. It is taking care of yourself. And, say it with me now, taking care of yourself is taking care of your kids.

You have a right to snacks.

We spend so much of our time preparing meals for others while we feed ourselves handfuls of Cheeze-its, rejected scraps, or tasting spoons of food. Sometimes this is out of necessity. But sometimes its because guilt over undone dishes or unhandled chores prevents us from sitting down and eating like a goddamn human. You have a right a balanced, hot meal, eaten while sitting down. You also have a right to say "Fuck it," feed your kid Brussel sprouts while you eat Oreos in the pantry. That's fine too.

You have a right to human interaction.

You are allowed to interact with other adults be it book club or online. And you can do it while the kids are awake. If you've ever felt guilty about messing around on your phone while your kids were happily entertained with something else, know that you are not a failure. You need other humans with whom to talk about that Ruby from Max and Ruby with intent to kill that bossy bitch.

You have a right to Me-Time.

And while we are here, you have a right to read a book, knit a scarf, paint a mason jar, or put a bird on something. You have a right to hobbies and you have a right to enjoy a bit of time doing something that brings you happiness. I'm gonna keep repeating this until every mom understands...Taking care of yourself is taking care of your kids.

You have a right to space.

The touching, the pulling, the asking for attention is constant. As a mom, we likely never feel touch starved. I'd bet we feel the opposite - touch drowned. You have a right to slip away and enjoy that no one is touching you or asking you to watch a stupid human trick. You have a right to take a deep breath, count to 100, and let your nerves settle.

You have a right to be boring AF.

Not every moment has to be teachable. Not every activity needs to be Instagrammable. Not every second of every day needs to be planned via Pinterest. You can be boring from time to time. Just let the day exist and flow every once in a while. Your kids have a right to that as well.

You have a right to not like your children occasionally.

Children are hard people to like sometimes. Think about how often children fail to like one another. And just because we're adults means we have to like them all the time. False. You are allowed to dislike your child from time to time. Sometimes they are needy, stubborn, too-much-like-you jerks who are trying to be difficult. We know you'll always love them and will die for those assholes. But you don't have to like them all the time. Just some of the time. Hopefully the majority of it, but we're not going to judge.

To print this out and keep it someplace as a reminder that not everything you do has to make you feel guilty, download the PDF.