Lazy Recipes: Green Chili Pork

More lazy recipes for folks who like tasty food but want to invest as little effort as possible in cooking it: minimum effort, maximum flavor.

**If you're new to lazy recipes, just a heads up that Gwenna, the author, doesn't measure shit. I add stuff until my ancestors whisper "Stop." So any measurements here are straight-up guesses and can be summarily ignored if you think that's too much or too little.

Ingredients:

• Pork Butt Roast

• 8 oz can diced green chilis

• 28oz can green enchilada sauce

• 1/2(ish) cup orange juice

• 1 pale/light-colored beer of choice*

• Enough garlic cloves to annoy a vampire

• Taco Seasoning (Some if you're using a home blend, probably 2 packets if you go store-bought)

Optional: Any form of sliced or diced pepper if you prefer things higher on the Scoville Scale. I'd aim for jalapeno, serrano, or poblano to keep with the whole green thing. You can also add carrots, onion, and celery (mirepoix for the purists) for a roastier type roast.

*If you don't like or can't have beer, replace this with 8-12oz of chicken stock and either apple cider vinegar or lime juice. Measure that with your heart.)

Instructions:

1. Place pig ass in a crockpot.

(Note: Pork butt roast is not actually from the ass-end of the pig. It's from the shoulder. The butt came from the name of the barrel pork was stored in ye olde Revolutionary War times. But I'm hopelessly amused at pig ass so there you go. You came here for this.)

2. Massage pig ass with taco seasoning. Be generous. And sensual. Maybe moan a little. It makes a difference to the final product. If you are absolutely insistent that roasts be seared, now's your time to shine. Personally, I skip it. We're about to soak it in hot flavor juice for 8-12 hours, I don't think the sear makes that much of a difference. Also, I don't wanna dirty a pan.

3. Now that it's awkward, unceremoniously dump cans of chilis and green enchilada sauce into your crockpot.

4. Toss in that garlic and any add-ins like peppers or veggies you choose.

5. Add your splash of orange juice.

6. Glug in beer. Enjoy the brief moment of fizzy stuff ASMR.

7. Cook on low for 6-8 hours.

The people with the science and stuff say the internal temperature should reach 145F/63C but I typically figure if the meat is falling apart, we've probably reached an optimally safe temperature. Also, there's no place to stick the probe so, yeah, it's probably fine.

Serving Suggestions:

Make it fancy. Serve with rice, black beans, sour cream, a little bit of guac. Dust with cilantro and parsley. Artfully fling green serrano sauce across it. Add random carrot sticks for color so you can take a decent photo for your Instagram (or, you know, website). Then devour like that didn't take you 15 unnecessary minutes.

Also: Quesadillas, Nachos, Omelets, Open Face Sandwich

Bonus Non-Recipe

Homemade Taco Seasoning

I prefer to make my own blend of taco seasoning so I can make it taste how I want it to taste. Here's a rough approximation of what I add. Again, I don't measure shit so I don't really know. I dump in seasonings til it smells "taco-ey." *shrugs helplessly* I really have no business adding to the cooking blogosphere but here I am doin' it.

The formula I follow is:

1 part Green Stuff + 1 part Smokey Stuff + 2 parts White Stuff + 2 parts Red Stuff + Salt

Green Stuff

Cilantro

Oregano

Basil

Parsley

Smokey Stuff

Cumin

Smoked Paprika (Or regular paprika if you don't do bougie spices)

White Stuff

Garlic

Onion (Minced or Powder)

Red Stuff

Cayenne

Chili Powder

Crushed Red Pepper

I don't add a lot of salt so I can adjust that as I cook. Make as little or as much as you want. I make enough to fit in a Mason jar that will last my family about a month. You can make a big batch and store it in the freezer. You can make enough for just a couple of dishes. Up to you. Like it spicier? Add more red stuff. Prefer it earthier? More green stuff. Think something's missing? Add that.

Oh, and final note, if you are used to that sort of orangey color you get from store-bought, add Turmeric. It will give you that comforting processed sunset color, bringing back memories of your Mom's beloved Taco Tuesday.